Consider this a warning, we are going to get a little deep. My hopes in sharing is that this resonates with you and helps you to realize you aren’t alone. On the other side, if you are starting out in music please consider this advice.

I want to share something I wish I had paid attention to earlier in my career. I always get a bit out of my comfort zone doing these things, cuz I know it sounds weird to say, but I don’t really like to talk about myself that much. However, I feel it’s important to share how I feel as this may help others.

[embed]https://anchor.fm/streamline/episodes/My-Biggest-Regret-From-20-Years-In-Music-e1ss6gh/a-a941dp3[/embed]

This is one of my strongest regrets, not the only one though. This dates back in the early days when I got into the wonderful world of music. I started out as a DJ, first and foremost, and that involved a lot of late nights, a lot of driving equipment to and from gigs, a lot of following DJ’s around being there before the gig started and long after the gig finished so I could learn. As a result, this meant missing out on a lot of opportunities.

Many will tell you that there are “sacrifices” they have to make, if they want to make it.

Unfortunately, in my case this meant there were times where coworkers, friends, even family, were inviting me to events that were clearly important to them. It could have been a birthday, graduation, engagement party or any other important event.

Most times, actually, almost every time I said, no! I said, I have to make music. I have to go to this gig. I have to help this person so I can learn from them.

As a result, most of those friendships faded and looking back it is something I deeply regret, because of my decision to continue to say no, those friendships drifted away.

On the flip side, for the friendships I’ve held onto all this time, I value those friendships even more.

So, here goes. My advice to you as someone who just turned 40 in December 2022 as has been working in music for over 20 years, is to make an effort to be there for your friends and family.

I know that you want to give as much time as you can to music, but the reality is when you do more than X amount of hours per day, you are burnt out. You are not actually accomplishing as much as you would by the end of that. So give yourself that break, but also give other people your time. Go to that birthday party, even if just for a couple of hours, go to that family event. Spend time with people. Don’t give yourself an opportunity to regret that later in life.

I’m very grateful for all the opportunities and I know that a lot of the times being in certain places led me to where I am today, but I also realize that many of these were opportunities that continued to present themselves.

Put family and friends first, above everything else for me. I wish that I recognized that in the earlier stages while I was learning, growing and starting out in music.

If you have been in music for some time and lost friendships along the way please know that you are not alone.

And if you are starting out, take this advice into consideration. Make the effort to go to those events and don’t let those friendships fade.

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If you have any stories you would like to share, please add them in the comments. I would love to hear from you.